


If Hetalia had a Discord Channel

by NinjaBread, wubling



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-22 15:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11383362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaBread/pseuds/NinjaBread, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wubling/pseuds/wubling
Summary: The countries decide it would be best if they made a group chat, "catching up in the times" as the cool kids say. It's exactly what you expect it to be.





	1. In All Seriousness(It’s Not)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



> I've had this idea for a while, the first 3 chapters are up now. More along the way.

**[England] created [Country Chatroom]** **  
** **  
** **[England] opened [Country Chatroom]**

 **  
** England: As most of you may know. It was decided as a whole to make a chatroom if you will, to stay in touch other than means of meeting up in one place for a temporary time.

  
**[America] entered [Country Chatroom]** **  
** **  
** **[Germany] entered [Country Chatroom]** **  
** **  
** **[Italy] entered [Country Chatroom]**

  
  
America: oh sweet we can change the title of the chat

England: America, I would advise that you please do not attempt to do such a thing.

  
  
**[America] changed the name to [america is the hero!]** **  
** **  
** **[Germany] changed the name to [Country Chatroom]**

 **  
**  
America: bummer.....  
  
Germany: I feel like as if this should be used as a means of communications and not to just "fuck around". Also England, are you sure this group chat is secure?  
  
America: that succs all the fun out of groupchats  
  
Italy: Germany!!!! Now we can talk to each other even if we are in our home countries, isn't that nice?  
  
Germany: I suppose so. But still this should be for serious discussions only.  
  
England: Germany, I assure you this is a secure group chat meant for countries only. Also, I have a feeling that this will not be as serious as you think.

  
  
**[Sealand] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 **  
** Sealand: England! Since I'm here does that mean I'm a real country now.  
  
England: No you bloody brat! I'm surprised you even get reception on that piece of junk you call a country!

  
  
**[England] kicked [Sealand] from [Country Chatroom]**

England: Might need a few tweaks. Haha.

****

**[Russia] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

Russia: ah, a chatroom? ~~now it will be easier to get into america’s technology~~

America: what?

Russia: ah, forget what i said da? we can be good friends now

America: hey!

America: No need to give…

America: the cold shoulder...badum tss

Russia: ...

Russia: be quiet before i personally come to your house and strangle you

America: …k

 

**[China] entered [Country Chatroom]**

China: Aye this is what i get for entering this chatroom all of you are annoying ahhh!1!1!!!!1

  **[China] left [Country Chatroom]**

 Germany: I am afraid that this chat will not be ised for its original intentions.

England: Of course not...everyone was too damn excited to hear anything after what you announced

 

 **[Japan] entered [Country Chatroom]**  

 **[China] entered [Country Chatroom]**  

**[France] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

Japan: Considering how long technology has been around I am surprised we have not thought of this sooner

France: hon hon hom

France: do you think I can track what each country is doing in this chat?

China: I DONT THINK IT WORKS LIKE THAT YOU SICK BASTARD

England: France, why is that the first thing you say when you enter this bloody chat?

France: I cannot help it if I have questions to ask no?

Italy: I can already tell this will be a wonderful group chat!

Germany: Sometimes Italy, you’re wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know It may not be exactly like discord, but you get the point.


	2. OverFUCK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One complaint about Overwatch turns into a conversation.

America: im angery >:[

England: Do not use that face...what is wrong?

America: I was playing on the euro servers(bc i can do that) and this winston main was on my ass every game in comp

England: Ugh, I’ve had the same problem. Even playing against widow.

England: France!

France: Oui?

England: You know what.

France: I can’t help but teabag you whenever I kill you.

England: You only kill me even if it loses you the game? How are you still in Grandmaster?

France: Isn’t it obvious? I win games when I don’t play against you. Also I have an alternate account where I play Hanzo.

England: You promise to suck dick if your team wins…

America: anyway dudes you have the most obvious mains out there.

France: America last time I checked you’re a top 500 Soldier 76 player but you have one hour more playtime as Reaper…and you play Mercy too?

America: the true hero waits till everyone dies and saves their asses and im playing reaper bc i can and dont call me edgy

**  
**

**[Spain] entered [Country Chatroom]**  

**[Romano] entered [Chatroom]**

 

Spain: Are talking about ow mains? Bc Romano mains BASTION AND IM REALLY MAD AT HIM

Italy: Brother what happened?

Romano: I have to sleep on the couch for a week :’(

Italy: I main mercy!

America: duh, figured swiss cheese would play mercy but actually plays zen, makes him calmer or something

Germany: I admit to being a Rein main…

Italy: I do love me some Germans!

America: Reinhardt must have a MASSIVE COCK

England: Don’t say that.

America: **REINHARDT MUST HAVE A MASSIVE COCK**

Italy: I bet it’s as big as Germany’s!

Germany: Italy!

England: Why do I bother.

France: I see it now. ;)

Germany: I...

 **[Prussia] entered [Country Chatroom]**  

**[Austria] entered [Country Country]**

 Prussia: Oh come on brother! A big cock is nothing to be ashamed of.

**[Germany] left [Country Chatroom]**

 

Austria: Sigh. I automatically regret you  forcing me into here. I will exist later and comfort Germany for the time being. II main Orisa and I’m Prussia’s shield bitch.

 **[Austria] left [Country Chatroom]**  

**[Sweden] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

Prussia: Thats right! Pro torb here

Sweden: ahem…

Prussia: Don’t hurt me

Sweden: Me and the other nordic countries actually play whatever we want. Flex pickers being the proper term.

**[South Korea] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

South Korea: You know Pro Gaming originated in Korea.

England: There probably are facts to prove you wrong but I do not have the time to research and will just agree with you.

China: Korea why you have to be appearing at random and be annoying.

South Korea: I cant say hi in here. Im offended. You should be more ashamed at the fact that Japan is a “pro Genji” and spams “I need healing” when i pick healer to annoy me.

Japan: I only do it with Korea but yes I play Genji. But at least I don’t make shitty bootleg games China.

China: Let’s not talk about that.

 

**[Australia] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

America: the dirty junkrat main is here.

Australia: mate, for the record I play Junk on my alt. hog is on my main.

 

France: /w America, I played some games with him and he moans whenever he gets POTG as Junkrat and then says: “mate I am so erect right now”.

America: /w France, no wonder he doesnt play junk w/ me ill keep that in but i have my eye on you

France: /w America, He’s all yours.

England: Today I learned India only plays Symmetra. Figures.

 **[Greece] entered [Country Chatroom** ]

Greece: Don’t tell Cyprus or Egypt but I secretly play Ana/Lucio/Zen with Turkey.

Italy: Your secret is safe with us! That is until they see it.

America: commie dude you seem pretty quiet.. whos your main

Russia: Mei and Sombra. It’s funny because hacking and cold. China plays Zarya for the Russia ties.

South Korea: Fun Fact: I almost got banned for playing on the U.S servers as D.Va and destroying the enemy team.

America: 1 v 1 me rn

 

 **[South Korea] left [Country Chatroom]**  

 **[America] left [Country Chatroom]**  

**[Sealand] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

Sealand: GUYS I FINALLY REACHED RANK 5000 WITH WINSTON

England: First of all: It was you who was the really good Winston main. Second: Get out you twit.

**[England] kicked [Sealand] from [Country Chatroom]**

****

**[Germany] entered [Country Chatroom]**

 

Germany: Well that was somewhat of a nice experience talking about our mains. For the most part.

Italy: Are you still embarrassed? I’m sorry! Don’t kill me.

Germany: Don’t worry about that. I’m more worried that America will be salty when he loses to South Korea.

**[South Korea] entered [Country Chatroom]**

**[America] entered [Country Chatroom]**

South Korea: Oh he is. He has to spend his competitive points on a golden Bastion gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. It was hard to not the countries have obvious mains but it mostly fits them. You can also tell I did no research about South Korea's gaming scene whatsoever haha.


	3. Having a Good Ol’ Golden Gaytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Australia's favorite treat turns into a meme.

Australia: Anyone wanna have a golden gaytime?

England: God, no.

America: Oh?

Italy: What is a Golden Gaytime?

France: Well obviously Australia is super horny right now and needs to fuck.

America: we did last night :P

Australia: [ goldengaytime ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gaytime)

Australia: It’s an icecream mates

America: id still have either golden gaytime ;;;;)));;););)

Italy: I want one, maybe I can have a golden gaytime with Germany!

Germany: Leave me out of this.

England: Why…

Prussia: S/O to the couple having a golden gaytime together.

England:     K

France: England are you jealous that you can’t have a golden gaytime with someone because you are lonely.

England: I know what you mean but no. This joke has gone too bloody far.

America: not that far

**[Scotland] entered [Country Chatroom]**

**[Turkey] entered [Country Chatroom]**

Scotland: Whatever ye guys are doing. It’s hilarious. England is bangin his head agains the wall.

**[Australia] changed the name to [Golden Gaytime 24/7]**

Australia: Better! Now I’m going to get a golden gaytime with the mates.

Japan: Greece? What time is it?

Greece: I believe it is Golden Gaytime. I have some at my house if you want to come over

Turkey: I believe Greece was going to have a Golden Gaytime with me

Greece: Sorry Japan. We can have a Golden Gaytime later.

Japan: I understand.

England: .

**[England] left [Golden Gaytime 24/7]**

**[England] entered [Golden Gaytime 24/7]**

**[England] changed the name to [Country Chatroom]**

England: I am now blacklisting the words “golden” and “gaytime”. After this message has been sent, you can no longer say them.

Prussia: ******, *******

Prussia: That’s not fair.

England: So is life.

America: harsh

Australia: YOURE NOT MY REAL DAD.

**[Australia] changed the name to [G0LD3NG4YTHYME]**

England: Not the reaction I was expecting. Also I give up. I am not spending the rest of my blacklisting every iteration of it. Bugger.

Australia: What if I can’t find my pistols.

England: You named your pistols ****** and ******.

Australia: Yes! What if I left them at America’s. “America can you make sure I didn’t leave ****** and ******* at your house?”.

England: Why would they be at America’s.

Australia: None of your beeswax.

France: You're either a kinky bastard, or “pistols” are just an innuendo for dildos. Or actually pistols, we don’t know that...unless you say what it is.

England: Can we not, talk about kinks.

America: i agree kinks are for a whole different conversation but england its obvs ur submissive but you hide it by conquering other countries

England: Shut up you!

Australia: Oi! They are not dildos mate! They are guns that I bring when I go to America’s at his shooting range. I said it.

England: Sure. Those names sound like something Bayonetta would name her guns if she was a guy and was gay.

Australia: I see your eyes narrow towards me all they way from Sydney.

Australia: America back me up.

America: i agree with whatever australia is saying to back up his claim

Australia: See?

England: No, I am reading it.

Scotland: Why you gotta be a fuckin smartass about it?

Australia:            K

England: Because this always happens when I do it to him and it is hilarious.

England: AUSTRALIA I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

Australia: Mate calm down. I didn’t do anything.

England: YOU, SHIPPED AN ENTIRE TRUCKLOAD OF ****** ******* AT MY HOUSE.

Australia: Ohhhhh. That. Wait…

America: shit fuck cunt titty bitch

England: America….The shipment was put under my name. I am supposed to pay for this?

America: what are you gonna do dump them in the harbor?

**[England] left [G0LD3NG4YTHYM3]**

Australia: Nice one. Harsh, but nice.

Scotland: [ England rn ](https://youtu.be/Gb2jGy76v0Y)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> England ruins all the fun, but is also bullied at the same time. Poor England. Comments are appreciated.


	4. DIY American Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America's birthday is coming up and asks Sweden for an Ikea.

**[Finland] entered [G0LD3NG4YTHYM3]**

**[Iceland] entered [G0LD3NG4YTHYM3]**

**[Norway] entered [G0LD3NG4YTHYM3]**

**[Denmark] entered [G0LD3NG4YTHYM3]**

Sweden: Good.

Scotland: wew lad

England: I’m disappointed in you.

Scotland: wew...lad

America: hey swedish dude

Sweden: No.

Finland: Come on Sve! You don’t even know what he wants.

Sweden: I am not making him any more Swedish meatballs.

America: No that’s not it.

Iceland: I don’t think he wants swedish fish either.

Norway: Oh I get it.

Sweden: What?

America: my bday is coming up

Sweden: Yes, and?

America: PLEASE SEND ME A NEW IKEA PLZZZZZZZZZ IF YOU SEND IT NOW I WONT BOTHER YOU NEXT YEAR

Sweden: I’ll do it.

America: TY

Sweden: May I ask why you want a new Ikea?

America: not a lot of them and i like sneaking in at night

Sweden: Aren’t there security guards?

America: I tell them this is where you stay when you visit so they let me stay the night.

Sweden: Well I have done that once.

Finland: Sve, I never knew you slept in your own stores. 

Sweden: Everything I need is there. Well, mostly everything.

America: sweeddennnnnnn

Sweden: What now?

America: You sent me a large box? 

Sweden: All you need to build an Ikea is there. Did you expect a fully built and furnished Ikea flown over an ocean and plopped next to your house? 

America: y

Sweden: I should have figured. Listen, if you get the building complete me and the other Nordic countries will help you furnish it.

America: deal

Denmark: Really swe? U sure we can trust him in building it.

Iceland: The worst possible outcome is that he accidentally builds another Trump Tower. Or blow it up.

America: i tend to keep explosives and trump tower materials separately :P

America: swedish fish where art thou instructions

Sweden: Shit.

Finland: Sweden.

Norway: You forgot.

Denmark: The.

Iceland: Instructions?

Sweden: America put me in such a rush to send the materials. 

America: sweden i got this

America: ill just look at other ikeas and base it off from there

America: you owe me swedish meatballs as well as helping to decorate it

Sweden: as long as i get to sleep in that Ikea when the other Nordic States and I come to help. 

America: its settled then

Finland: /w Sweden, Sve…

Sweden: /w Finland, It was a stupid mistake I know. 

Sweden: /w Finland, You think managing parts in an Ikea store you would be able to have everything to. I will also give him Swedish Fish

Finland: /w Sweden, You act so intimidating to others in person, but in this group chat you are so sweet and kind. That’s why I love you my big swedish fish. 

Sweden: /w I love you too. But don’t say that around America or else he will call me that more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. This was also in the works when coming up with this whole thing and maybe a small hint to the next chapter?


	5. Murica’ Day!

England: I can not believe I am saying this, but happy birthday America.

America: wow i cant believe you remembered

**[America] changed the name to [MURICA DAY]**

Germany: So how does it feel being 241 years old?

America: not much diff from turning 240

Italy: Birthdays get can boring after a while.

China: Especially after being alive for more than 2000 years. Just ask me Japan, Greece or Egypt. 

Greece: Turkey is also someone that you can ask I guess.

Japan: America, what do you think the best part about a birthday is?

America: def the birthday sex, great gift

Australia: HELL YEAH

**[England] left [MURICA DAY]**

America: poor old unibrow man is sad bc he has no one to fuck on his bday

**[England] entered [MURICA DAY]**

England: Moving forward. Italy what do you do on your birthday?

Italy: Me and Germany naked cuddles and enjoy each others company.

Italy: Romano what do you do on our bday?

Spain: Romano eats cake off of my ass.

Romano: Spain! Now everyone knows.

Spain: O shit sorry.

America: besides bday sex the fireworks are

America: lit

Australia: omg funny joke rofl xdd 

**From all in the Groupchat: We wish America a happy birthday!**

Japan: England, that is very nice of you.

England: How did you know it was me?

Germany: Only someone would do something like that to America.

America: how nice of you 

America: i assume you didnt want to talk about the pun i made

England: Yes. Now go and enjoy the fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but sweet. Happy 4th of July to those in America. To those not in America: I got nothing for you except this chapter. Next chapter will probably be longer than the others. Let me know if you have any suggestions on what I should do next down in the comments.


	6. Board Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that one board game? No, not that one. Yes that one! I hated that game too. And I am sure that the other countries hate it as much as you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU THOT THIS WAS DEAD? Well you thot wrong.
> 
> And shoutout to my friend Wubling who helped doing some of the subchannel groups.

America: guess what we are bringing back bois

**[America] changed the name to [Board Game Night]**

England: We are not bringing back Board Game Night.

Australia: I kinda miss it…

England: Remember what happened last time when Japan brought the Pokémon Master Quest game for a whole month?

China: Living...Hell

Japan: I still regret it.

Germany: No one knew how to play except Japan and Italy.

France: Oh! I remember that one time America almost shoved a chip up his ass.

Australia: Hawt

England: I did not _literally_ mean for you to shove it up your arse.

America: ur words not mine :P

Italy: I remember when I won legit and everyone wanted to punch me in the face!

Romano: Yeah, feels bad man.

Italy: You also punched me in the face.

Russia: I think we should play a better game this time.

England: No one will have fun playing “1-2-Switch!”.

America: i will have fun ironically

Prussia: How about monopoly?

Germany: We never played that before actually…

America: did someone say capitalism?

England: We are not going to play Monopoly.

France: DnD it is!

England: Wait! I take it back.

France: Gotchu. _winks seductively_

England: Fuck off.

_________________

Germany: There are currently 21 people in this group chat. To make it even, we will split into six groups of four.

Prussia: !

**[Austria] entered [Board Game Night]**

Austria: Whomst’dve?

Russia: I have two other people...but it may not be fun for me…

America: im sure it cant be that bad

Russia: Try living with them then you will see.

**[Belarus] entered [Board Game Night]**

**[Ukraine] entered [Board Game Night]**

Belarus: What is this, I dont like it, you promised we would GET MARRIED

Russia: That was only to get you in here.

Belarus: T R I G G E R E D

Ukraine: Belarus please calm down. You are scaring Russia.

Belarus: If I kill you Russia, I will marry your dead body

Russia: Send helo

America: help

Russia: Thank you.

Germany: Now that that is settled. I will randomly generate the groups. I will announce them later.

Germany: Here are the groups:

  1. Germany, Italy, Japan, Romano.
  2. France, Spain, Belarus, Ukraine.
  3. America, South Korea, Norway, England.
  4. Australia, Greece, Iceland, Denmark.
  5. Scotland, China, Sweden, Russia.
  6. Turkey, Prussia, Finland, Austria.



China: A team generator did that?

Japan: That is really surprisng if I do say so myself.

England: Why am I stuck with America.

America: xDDdDddDddD

Germany: It seems like we are fine on the groups for the most part.

Belarus: I don’t get to be with Russia :,(

Ukraine: It is okay sister, you have me.

Belarus: I WANT TO BE WITH RUSSIA

Russia: Do not blame me. Blame the generator.

Belarus: Fuck you generator, one day Russia we will be in the same group on Game Night

Russia: If there is a next time.

England: Let us switch gears here and make sub-channels with the groups. From there, we can decide team names and what not.

Russia: Agreed.

**[Germany] created [Our Game Group]**

**[Germany] entered [Our Game Group]**

Germany: We will start by picking a team name. Something _appropriate_ please.

**[Romano] entered [Our Game Group]**

Romano: Fuckhead McGees.

Germany: I literally just.

**[Italy] entered [Our Game Group]**

**[Japan] entered [Our Game Group]**

Italy: Aww but Germany!!! It’s kinda cute.

Germany: It is not.

Japan: I don’t like this name, but I do not dislike it either.

Romano: What is that, two and a half votes?

**[Romano] changed the name to [Fuckhead McGees]**

**[Germany] changed the name to [No.]**

Romano: Well this isn’t really much of a group effort now is it...

Germany: Would you mind not having a bias against me for at least five minutes so we can decide on a proper name?

Romano: lol.

Germany: -_-

Japan: I think it would be easiest to just call ourselves “Axis Powers”, considering we’re all together.

Italy: That would be fine too!

Romano: I don’t wanna be in your stupid club.

Germany: The Axis Powers ft. Pitbull.

Romano: how is that any better? Besides, how the fuck am I Pitbull?2?22???2?

Italy: Well you’re angry like one!!!

Japan: I believe they mean a different pitbull.

Romano: Pitbull’s music is garbage..

Germany: It’s fitting then.

**[Japan] changed the name to [Axis Powers ft. Pitbull]**

Japan: Burned...

Romano: I am being personally attacked. Ganged up on. Defeated. Betrayed by my own flesh and blood…

Italy: Ehh...blood of the covenant and all. ;;)

Romano: Oh fuck off already, I don’t need your excuses...

 

**[America] created [The Best Team!!!]**

**[America] entered [The Best Team!!!]**

America: i feel like we got our name already covered B)

**[England] entered [The Best Team!!!]**

England: Most certainly not

**[South Korea] entered [The Best Team!!!]**

**[Norway] entered [The Best Team!!!]**

England: Surely, we could put a little more effort into it. Make it more sophisticated.

South Korea: It’s a team name for game night. Chill.

America: well mister i-hate-fun, what name would you suggest?

England: Oh i do not know...let us see....

Norway: It doesn’t matter what the team name is as long as we crush the opposition.

America: shit u rite

South Korea: Damn...Norway gets scary

Norway: :)

South Korea: My country practically invented good team names so _i’ll_ think one up for you plebs.

England: ““ _THE DARK ARTS”_ _TM”™_

South Korea: …

Norway: …

America: fuckin edgelord over here lol

South Korea: Please, have you seen the drama in the main chat? We’re edgelord central.

America: DUDE DUDE DUDE THATS IT

**[America] changed the name to [Edgelord Central]**

America: its…..beautiful ;w;

England: WHAT THE FUCK, NO.

South Korea: It’s so perfect!!!

England: GOD DAMN YOU, FUCKING, YANKIE.

Norway: It’s amusing to be in groups other than the nordics for once...

**[Spain] created [what should we call our group?]**

**[Spain] entered [what should we call our group?]**

**[Belarus] entered [what should we call our group?]**

**[Ukraine] entered [what should we call our group?]**

Belarus: Team Russia

**[Belarus] changed the name to [Team Russia]**

Ukraine: Brother is not even in our group…

Belarus: TEAM RUSSIA

Spain: This is a group effort, Belarus! We should pick it together! :D

Belarus: >:(

Belarus: Fine

Ukraine: Yay!! I think we should have a cute name

Spain: Sure! Like what?

**[France] entered [TEAM RUSSIA]**

France: Ooh, we have two lovely ladies in our group! Glad to not be a sausage fest.

Belarus: Shut the fuck up, my sister was coming up with a name

France: O_o

Spain: Close your gay mouth France we’re gonna have the cutest name.

Ukraine: ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )

France: Excuse u, i can like both…...but a cute name would be lovely.

Belarus: Shit

Ukraine: ?

Belarus: Sorry, i’m playing a thing

Ukraine: Is it that dating sim?? The one with the parents???

Belarus: The dads, yes...but none of them can compare to my TRUE LOVE so I think i’ll quit

Spain: Funny!! Wouldn’t have taken you for the gamer girl type.

Belarus: Well you know what they say about assuming…

Belarus: If you do it I’ll break your legs :)

France: ...catchy

Ukraine: GASP

**[Ukraine] changed the name to [Gamer Girls]**

Ukraine: Is it cute??

Belarus: Not really

Spain: It’s catchy tho!!!

France: Spain we aren’t girls.

Spain: So? It’s a nice name anyway. uwu

France: Well...i guess it’s fine. I didn’t care too much to begin with.

Ukraine: Yay!!!

Spain: Gamer girls GO!

**[Australia] created [Title WIP]**

**[Australia] entered [Title WIP]**

Australia: Okay mates lets decide our group name

**[Denmark] entered [Title WIP]**

**[Iceland] entered [Title WIP]**

**[Greece] entered [Title WIP]**

Denmark: I feel like it's kinda stupid to have these.

Iceland: We are just going to decide the group name and leave it at that.

Greece: It is much more than that. We can use it to devise strategies during the game. This is a good way of team bonding and growing together as a family in that sort of way. Strategic planning is a key to victory. But then again, strategic planning seems redundant. If you think about it, plan means “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something”, at least one of the definitions. And the definition of strategy is “a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim”. So in the end it does not matter. But do we really matter? What effect does Game Night have on the rest of the world? Is there really life out there? What is life? What is love? Baby don’t hurt me? Don’t hurt me? No more?

Iceland:       

Denmark:               

Australia: Huh…

Iceland: Anyway let’s actually decide the group name.

Denmark: xXx_moneyswag_420_69_xXx

Iceland: We are not using your alt name as our group name.

Australia: Ya it doesnt roll of the tongue quite right.

Greece: How about 75% European?

Australia: Excuse me, I’ll have you know that some people in my country were convicts in _Europe_.

Greece: Well you did have natives.

Australia: Why cant we be the Gold3n Gaythymers

Iceland: Me and Denmark weren't here for that.

Denmark: What is a ****** *******.

Denmark: I assume it did not end well.

Australia: Not for me. :(

Greece: You can ask Sweden. But needless to say it was really funny.

Australia: England was McPissed.

Denmark: How about Almost _All_ European instead?

Iceland: Well I do like pissing England off....

Denmark: Oh shit I forgot about that….

Greece: Fuck Rockall, it is a shitty rock in the middle of the ocean near Scotland still claimed by England according to the internet. Just, forget about that. That was years ago.

Australia: !!!!!1!111!!1!!11

Iceland: ????222?2??222???

**[Australia] changed the name to [Rockall’s Golden Gaytime]**

Denmark: Ohohohohohoho.

Iceland: Tilting England is the best thing this group can agree on.

Greece: It is hilarious when England gets pissy.

**[Scotland] created [wew lads]**

**[Scotland] entered [wew lads]**

Scotland: Ok lads I think we can all agree that this will be our team name

**[China] entered [wew lads]**

**[Sweden] entered [wew lads]**

China: Keep your memes away from this please.

Sweden: You act so different from England.

Scotland: Bc he is uptight and acts like smth is up his ass all the time.

China: But you are related to him

Scotland: And your point is…

Sweden: China, it is best if we leave this unanswered.

Sweden: We are clearly the most diverse group so I really cannot decide on a name.

China: Maybe it would be better if ruSSIA WAS HERE.

Scotland: He’s probably going to a bunker to hide from Belarus for tonight.

Sweden: Makes sense.

Scotland: Let’s call this group the 50/50!

China: ?

Scotland: 50% Asian, 50% European.

Sweden: Is Russia, Eurasian?

Scotland: …

**[Russia] entered [wew lads]**

Russia: Let us not get geography into this. Remember what happened last geography was involved with countries.

Scotland: World Wars?

Russia: No silly, _“Guns, Germs, and Steel”._

Sweden: Russia…

Russia: Oh come on, Geographic Determinism existing is the same thing as saying the wage gap exists!

Scotland: What

Sweden: What.

China: What?

Russia : What, is something wrong?

Scotland: Are you okay?

Russia: Oh it must have been from jumping off that plane to get away from Belarus. I am now recovering from that extensive running.

Scotland: Or just jealous some other countries had their **_INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION_ ** before you.

Russia: I decided I am not going to jump out of a plane for a second time today, consider it a warning.

Scotland: Wew lads... guess this is the name of the group.

Sweden: Wait no!

**[Scotland] has now locked the the chat name [wew lads]. Name can no longer be edited unless granted by the admin.**

China: Sad…

Russia: It has a nice ring to it!

**[Prussia] created [Old Countries Club]**

**[Prussia] entered  [Old Countries Club]**

**[Austria] entered [Old Countries Club]**

**[Finland] entered [Old Countries Club]**

**[Turkey] entered  [Old Countries Club]**

Turkey: What if we tried a combination of our names?

Prussia: What are you gay? Kappa.

Turkey: :(

Prussia: :P

Finland: >:{

Austria: :?

Prussia: XD

Turkey: :X

Prussia: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**[Turkey] changed the name to [Better name pls, it offends me]**

**[Prussia] changed the name to  [Shut, it old man!]**

**[Finland] changed the name to [Says the dead country.]**

Prussia: :|

Austria: >:0000

**[Austria] changed the name to [Don’t talk to me or my son ever again]**

Finland: ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?

**[Prussia] changed the name to [At least I live in Europe]**

Turkey: ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

**[Turkey] changed the name to [One day I’ll be in the EU]**

**[Finland] changed the name to [When pigs fly]**

**[Turkey] changed the name to [Well at least one of my rulers dying led to a World War]**

**[Prussia] changed the name to [STFU YOU FOUGHT WITH US]**

Finland: /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

Turkey: **┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴**

Austria: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

Turkey: Okay. This is literally just a shitstorm.

Prussia: No it isn’t. There were some memes.

Finland: Old memes…

Austria: I missed the old days. Minus the war part.

Turkey: Rip the dream.

**[Prussia] changed the name to [Old memes, Dead Dreams]**

Prussia: That was my first idea.

Austria: Sweetie we wouldn’t have gone through this if you put that name in the first place.

**Channel: [Board Game Night]**

Germany: I will now announce the group names…

Germany: I hate myself for doing this. The monopoly pieces are also randomized so if you get the one you do not like too bad.

 

**Axis Powers Ft. Pitbull: Germany, Italy, Japan, Romano. Piece: Ship**

**Gamer Girls: France, Spain, Belarus, Ukraine. Piece: Thimble**

**Edgelord Central: America, South Korea, Norway, England. Piece: Dog**

**Rockall’s Golde3n Gaythyme: Australia, Greece, Iceland, Denmark. Piece: Cannon**

**wew lads: Scotland, China, Sweden, Russia. Piece: Hat**

**Old Memes, Dead Dreams: Turkey, Prussia, Finland, Austria. Piece: Iron**

 

England: I can never escape this can I.

Australia: I will never let that moment down.

Finland: Sve why…

Sweden: Blame Scotland.

Italy: WE NEED A BANKER!

Japan: Oh I have an idea.

**[Switzerland] entered [Board Game Night]**

Switzerland: Haha. Just because I am Swiss means I’m going to be the Monopoly banker.

Italy: Please Switz?

Switzerland: Okay but I’m not taking sides.

Germany: We are also using the voice channel because I don’t want to tab out of “Monopoly Online” every time I want to say something.

England: Agreed.

America: what are we waiting for? lets go bois

Scotland: All you lads better have good mics or I’m throwing.

 

**Now entering voice channel of [Board Game Night]**

Australia(RGG): Hump me, fuck me, daddy better make me choke.

England(EC): Bloody hell. I regret everything.

Australia(RGG): Just testing if the voice channel works properly.

France(GG): Ohohohon. Australia I may be the embodiment of sex but you are a wild boy.

America(EC): fuck off he is mine

China(wl): France, if anything you are the embodiment of a perv.

Belarus(GG): Russia where are you? I know you are probably hiding in one of your old cold war bunkers

Ukraine(GG): Focus Belarus, please?

Russia(wl): Yes yes, please do the focusing.

Turkey(OMDD): Does anyone actually know how to play Monopoly…

America(EC): Oh me!

Switzerland: I only understand the economy part of it.

Romano(APFP): Why dont you all get off your lazy asses and read the damn rules for yourself.

Germany(APFP): I would not phrase it like that but it would have been common sense.

Austria(OMDD): You know that 90% of the people here are “too lazy”. Ahem.

Prussia(OMDD): Me? Lazy?! Bruder back me up here.

Germany(APFP): No. You have to take responsibility. You are the eldest of brothers us after all. I should not be the one bossing _you_ around.

Japan(APFP): Burn.

Greece(RGG): Double.

Denmark(RGG): Another one.

Iceland(RGG): Another one.

Australia(RGG): LET’S GO MATES.

England(EC): Stop right there.

Denmark(RGG): Come on! We were on a roll.

South Korea(EC): It states in the rules that rolling three dubs in a row sends you noobs directly to jail!

America(EC): rules are rules i guess sorry boo

Romano(APFP): Get that gay shit outta here.

Spain(GG): Sweaty please…

England(EC): Shall we buy this space?

Norway(EC): We barely have any money left.

Prussia(OMDD): Do it!

Iceland(RGG): Norway, this is your consciousness, buy the space.

Ukraine(GG): No balls, buy it as a house.

Belarus(GG): Anything to let my future husband win

Russia(wl): I wish I was never related to you.

Greece(RGG): That just makes Belarus marrying you less incestuous, be glad you are related.

France(GG): But incest is okay _sometimes._

Australia(RGG): Who is the sick fuck now?

America(EC): its probably some dumb inside joke,  anyway swiss cheese lend me your money my dude because we are buying this space

China(wl): Aye America! Do you have common sense!

Switzerland: It is too late. The money has been transferred. Also, never call me “swiss cheese”.

Germany(APFP): The game is called Monopoly, not “let us talk about one thing and barrel into a tangent”.

Germany(APFP): Romano, please stop tossing the virtual dice in the virtual air.

Japan(APFP): I don’t know Germany, it seems kind of cool.

Germany(APFP): Romano I kindly ask you to refrain from doing the action.

Romano(APFP): Shut up you potato bastard before I shove these virtual dice up your ass.

Italy(APFP): Maybe they have die vibrators or anal beads!

Romano(APFP): REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**VOICE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL RESTARTING DUE TO: HIGH LEVELS OF NOISE. NOW RESTARTING. DO NOT TURN OFF THE POWER…**

England(EC): This game is getting nowhere.

Greece(RGG): You are right, this game is about different shaped pieces going around in a square board. Let us review what has happened: Russia has split the money evenly is his team acting like communism, this does nothing as Russia secretly uses all the money for himself, which does not matter anyway. “Edgelord Central” is flat broke all thanks to America who borrowed all the money from the banker, Switzerland and had used it all up and are no longer able. My team is in jail, and _has_ been in jail for most of the match in fact, that even when we get out, we get a “Go to jail” card. Meanwhile, “Gamer Girls” is being sabotaged by Belarus only to make Russia win. Prussia’s team at least did something because Austria is still trying to explain all the rules to him which leaves Turkey and Finland to claim at least one spot not taken by “Edgelord Central” and wew lads. And I am pretty sure Switzerland is dying on the inside because of this game.

Turkey(OMDD): You tell them.

Germany(APFP): Can we leave voice channel?

**Now exiting voice channel of [Board Game Night]**

Germany: Poll! Give up on board game night, call it a draw, never play this ever again and flip the virtual monopoly board over? Yes/No

****

**Results**

**Yes: 25**

**No: 0**

 

Russia: Next time can we do something not involving boards? Or being board for that matter?

Japan: We can do a round robin tournament of overwatch?

America: WE CAN PLAY THAT NEW SQUID KID GAME

South Korea: Splatoon 2 sounds like a wonderful thing to play together!

England: Board Game Night was literal hell. We probably should have came together and played. “1-2-Switch!”.

Prussia: Russia suggested that earlier but you rejected his thoughts. But we can’t change the past.

France: I consider this a win cause I got to hear all your frustrating moans.

Scotland: IDK buots u lads but im durnk afh and i m sleep nght

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Board game night? More like...BORED GAME NIGHT AMIRIGHT, FELLAS. "Incest is okay sometimes is an inside joke please do not take that seriously. If anyone does not know what Rockall is, it is a literal tiny as rock near Scotland, I did research for a project in school because it was on Iceland and I found stuff about that. If you want to learn more you can look it up but all of the places I got my research is old(as in a few years ago).
> 
> Key Words: This is for the team names so everyone knows who is on what team.  
> APFP-Axis Powers ft. Pitbull  
> GG-Gamer Girls  
> EC-Edgelord Central  
> RGG-Rockall's Gold3n Gaythyme  
> wl-wew lads  
> OMDD-Old Meme, Dead Dreams
> 
> Comments are appreciated. If you have any suggestions let me know down in the comments.


End file.
